On Saturday morning I received a text from my life long friend telling me that her mom (my second mom) has Leukemia and will be hospitalized for Chemotherapy for the next 4-6 weeks.
This news sent me into shock. I just sat there. Then called my mom to tell her that her best friend is sick. Very sick. I had to repeat my self a few times because the second I heard my moms voice I lost it. Just collapsed into sobbs.
Then about an hour later my husband asked what was wrong and it took a while for me to convince myself to say it out loud again. Once again bursting into tears.
We then met up with Ben's parents and sister to go to a session at the Salt Lake LDS Temple. It took everything I had to keep my composure on the was to temple. I spent a good part of our time there with my nose buried in the scriptures just hoping no one could see the tears streaming down my face.
We spent the rest of the day with Ben's family doing Family Pictures and celebrating birthdays. I wasn't quite myself (as I'm sure they all noticed, despite my best efforts to suppress my emotions).
Then Sunday My mom and I went to go visit her at the hospital. She is such a strong person, if she was suffering in anyway we couldn't see it. She was smiling, talking, laughing, and cracking jokes. It seriously made me feel so much better to be able to hug her. She has been in my life my WHOLE life. She is my second mom and I would NOT be who I am if it weren't for her. My mom, Her, and her daughter (my best friend and sister) are three of the biggest influences and supports I've had through out my life. I love them!
Afterward my mom drove me home and we sat in her car outside of my house just talking a crying for about an hour.
I am so lucky to have two moms.
Then today Ben's sister Aubree was set apart as a missionary for the LDS church and will be leaving for the Atlanta Georgia North mission tomorrow.
So tonight we said our good byes and of course I cried while she was being set apart, when I hugged her goodbye for the last time for 18months and the whole car ride home. I cannot express just how proud I am of her and how much I am going to miss her. We have has some fun times and I think we get along so well because she is the female version of Ben and doesn't judge me for my weirdness. Instead she joins in. :) She is an amazing girl and I know she will be an amazing missionary.
Then on Thursday my hubby will graduate from recruit camp. Guaranteed I WILL cry.
I have cried more in the last few days then I have in a LONG time.
I am overwhelmed with so many different emotions. Worry, fear, anxiety, stress, happiness, relief, pride, joy... EVERYTHING all at once.
So what have I been doing to calm myself???...
I've baked.
Coconut macaroons. Short bread. Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, white bread, banana bread, home made oreos, blue berry muffins, and chocolate chip cookies.
Yep... I have been baking and will continue to bake for a while.
Like I said... I am Exhausted... Emotionally Exhausted...
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