The "compairing bug"

I've been sick for the last little while. 

..okay.. I've been sick for most of my life. 

But lately it has been getting worse. 

This illness, at times, completely consumes me. 

I call it "the comparing bug" and i would like nothing more then to be rid of it.

But everywhere I look some one has something "better" then I do. 

Their pictures are prettier. 

Their hair is perfect. ALL. THE. TIME.

Their house is - bigger, cleaner, artsier... 

Their voices are amazing. 

Their kids dress like mini models. 

Their husbands are home A LOT. 

They're closer with their family. 

They have countless friends. 

They get to work/ further their education.

They have FREE time...

And I can't seem to stop myself from day dreaming or being bright green with envy. 

What is wrong with me?!

Nothing. The answer is : nothing. 

We all do it. 

It's "normal" 

And therein lies the problem. 

I find that the more time I spend on social media the sicker I get. Because people don't post pictures of dirty dishes piled up in the sink, or laundry covered floors, or messy haired-makeup less-pimple covered-I've had it with being a mom selfies. 

People want compliments and "likes" they want people to think their lives are picture perfect at all times. Because what they are seeing on their feed is YOUR perfect life.  Imagine that. 

I like to think that I don't contribute to this cycle but I most likely do... in one way or another. Or maybe I don't... Maybe I make people feel better about themselves... 

I'll never know. 

Because we don't talk about. 

We all walk around acting perfect. 

Not admitting that we ate ice cream for breakfast, We have OCD (which is the ONLY reason our house is clean), we drank way too much diet coke today, we have not washed our hair in a week... 

Or maybe that's just me...

I think we are all so jealous of other peoples "perfection" that we are all afraid of being judged for not being as perfect. 

I am going to try to spend less time on social media and more time being happy. 

Because i am sick of being sick. 

And the best way to get better is to accept and enjoy all the imperfections surrounding me. 

With that being said... 

I won't judge you for being imperfect. In fact I may just smile, hug you, and invite you over for a dirty diet coke drinkin', still in our pjs, and rocking messy buns while our kids run around half dressed covered in mud kinda play date . ;) 

Cause that is how I roll... 

5 years down :)

June 27th, 2009 I kneeled across an altar in the Salt Lake City LDS temple from a guy who had, with very few words, swept me off my feet and I became "mrs. Ben Andrus". 

Oh how so much can change in 5 short years. 

From being young and in love to being... A little less young and more devoted and more in love than I could have dreamed. 

Those two kids who knelt in that temple could not have begun to imagine where they'd be in 5 years. 

Two babies? No way!

A career change or two? Na! 

Fire academy, boot camp, engineer school all in less then 3 years while juggling jobs and two kids?! Yikes! 

Arguments? Temper tantrums? Potty training? Puppy raising? Selling our first home and buying a second? 

If you had asked me then if I could handle all of this I would have flat out said NO. I had plans. 

Oh, how god laughs when we make plans... 

5 years later. 

Two beautiful, happy, healthy little girls. 

A lovely home.

And a man by my side. who I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, will always be there. Supporting his family, loving his wife, & treasuring our kids. 

5 years ago I was in love. 

Today I am head over heels in love, 

With out a doubt in my mind that I chose the right man to love and grow with. 

Happy anniversary Ben! :)

Frozen moments

I don't know about you, but I have about a million pictures between my phone, camera, and computer that I've never shared. 

I capture moments and keep them to myself. 

I am a picture hoarder. 

There I said it. 

First step right?!  ;) 

I am constantly snapping picture of my kids and my (unknowing) husband. 

My phone is overloaded and my dslr's two memory cards... Let's not even go there... 

But lately I feel like my brain is mush. If I don't capture a moment I want to remember forever... I'll forget it in five minutes. 

Mom brain. 

So I've decided in an effort to use (share) all these frozen memories I'm going to start posting them here.  

A few at a time. 

 

Evelynne singing "happy! Happy! Happy!" In the tub. 

 Chloie chasing Evelynne in the backyard "I'm gonna get you, baby!"

Eve loves watching the sunrise snuggled up on mommy's bed. (She is an early riser...) 

Miss Chloie is 3 1/2 and still light enough to toss in the air. Little miss skinny mini.

Chloie watching the sunset through the front door. Love her piggies! :)

My little magnet. 

 Watching a rain storm. Eve kept saying "wow, mom!" 

Aparently we spend a lot of time looking through the front door... But seriously, anytime we get to spend a day or even a half day with daddy the girls are so excited. Ben works a LOT so we soak up every minute we can get and I've got Two little daddy's girls. :) 

That's all for now. 

Thanks for stopping by! 

Check ups!

We had Evelynne's 18 month appointment this week and it was quite the event... 

Now, I'm used to a child who LOVES her doctor. Chloie and Dr Jopling have nice chats and are best buds at her checks up. She cried very little getting her immunizations and was immediately cheered up when they gave her a sticker. 

Evelynne on the other hand HATES going to the doctor. 

The minute we walk into the office she gets clingy.

She cried in the waiting room. 

She cried in the hallway. 

She screamed and clawed my arms when they tried to weigh her.

Then the doctor tried to listen to her heart... 

World ended. 

Then he tried to look in her ears...

Pure torture! 

Then came the vaccinations... 

I've never heard her scream like that. (Mind you this is not the first time she's had her immunizations) 

Then they tried to put bandaids on her owies... 

"No!!!!!!!! Mine ow!!! No!!!!" 

How dare they touch her owie! 

 Then the doctor tried to talk to me about her growth... 

"Nooooo!!! Mine mommy!!! Shhhhhh! Shhhh!!!!" 

So we gave up on talking and he just handed me the charts and said she was healthy. 

Then be said "must have gotten the drama queen gene from her dad's side of the family?"  And we laughed about how much she is my daughter. 

(He was my pediatrician growing up and saw me act pretty much the same way)

After the tragic event I took the girls to get some doughnuts and we sat on the grass outside the little bakery (Daylight Doughnuts) and enjoyed the quite time and our sprinkled doughnuts. 

So called "burdens"

"I don't know how you do it. If my husband left me alone with two kids as much as yours' does I would complain non-stop" 

"I could not handle having two kids so close and watch other people's kids! what a burden for you to bear." 

"You have the patience of a saint! I have never once heard you complain about everything you have to do." 

These are just a few of things I have heard from people over the past year. 

It always catches me off guard when people say these sorts of things. 

For one I am VERY accustomed to being alone with my kids. My husband works hard to provide for us which means I am alone a lot. Sure, it gets hard at times but complaining about it wouldn't do me any good. 

Two, I love LOVE having my kids close together, they are the best of friends already and I don't know any different. And yeah watching other peoples children can be challenging... But I don't see it as a "burden" but rather a blessing. I GET to  spend loads of time with my sweet niece, Gwen, and my ninja turtle obsessed nephew, Oliver. I GET to watch them play with my kids, learn how to interact with eachother, and I get to teach them little things. Each one of the littles running (or hopping in Gwenny case :) ) brings something new to our home, each one has taught me something, and each one has given me so much more then I could have ever imagined. So much more then I could ever give back.

Three- I do not have the patience of any saint. Patience is something I have to work on everyday. I try. I do have my days where my back aches from picking up and putting down kids, my head pounds from all the screaming and noise making, and there are days I think if one more child yells at me for something I might just cry. But once again.. Complaining about it won't fix it. Figuring out why they scream, knowing what they want before they yell for it, and lifting with my legs are things I can do to. ;) Complaining seems pointless. (And if I were to complain I would not complain to random people, just sayin' ;) )

One thing that was talked about at my church today was burdens. How each of us has a load to bear, and not all loads are negative. 

There are burdens and blessings. And I believe that the load I bear is more blessings then burdens. 

I get so much more then I give. 

I would not trade what others see as "my burdens" for anything.