Play Day!

Sometimes it's nice to have a mommy daughters day. :)

This morning we went for a walk to soda row.

Played at the splash pad, Eve napped, stopped at the bakery, then headed home to decorate our driveway. :)

All in all, today was a pretty GREAT day! 

Our Weekend Without Daddy..

Both the girls are down for naps (thank HEAVEN) so I decided to;  first : clean. Second: Blog.

Ben has been at the fire station since yesterday morning and won't be home 'til tomorrow. So it has been just the girls and I.
Ben's captain invited us to come visit yesterday his only stipulation was that we bring treats... Luckily I had made macaroons for my grandpa (his favorite) and had some left over, so I took those to the station. :)
It was fun seeing station 104 again, I haven't been there in.. I wanna say at least 9 years. Funny thing... It looks EXACTLY the same. The lazy boys lined up right where the use to be, the table still sitting crooked behind them, it even smells the same as I remember... weird, right?
Ben's captain gave Chloie a plastic Jr Firefighter helmet, and Chloie LOVES hats so she was thrilled! :)

Today we just hung out at home until it was time to go to my parents for dinner, we played there for a bit after we ate...

 I have the cutest grandparents ever!

Then we went for a quick walk to the park. We were only there for a minute before it started POURING rain.

 It started getting REALLY WINDY ^ then it started pouring!!!

And the baby just woke up... perfect timing....

Evelynne's Baby Blessing

We had scheduled Eve's blessing for the 5th of May and were planning on having the whole family there. Then my Grandpa Fowlks got his diagnosis of AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia) on the 2nd and we thought that he would be starting the same type of Chemotherapy that Karen had (seeing as it was the exact same diagnosis) on the 4th of May. So, I threw Eve's blessing together last minute on May 3rd and only invited a few family members so that my Grandpa could be there.

Turns out that his treatment is going to be a little different (Because of his age and a few other factors, this treatment will not be able to cure him it will only give us more time with him) and we could have waited a bit. Oh well. I for one really needed something GOOD in all the BAD that had taken place last week. So we blessed her at my parents house and it was BEAUTIFUL and just what I needed. :)

I only took a few pictures... which is not normal for me so I apologize... 

 Rissi Roo, Hadlee, Aunt Shonnie and My grandpa Christensen. (Aka Grumpy Gramps!)

 My mom, Rylee, and Aunt Kerryne.

My grandma Christensen and Eve.

And of Course this guy^ Love my Grandpa Fowlks!:)

Thank you to all who came! I REALLY appreciated all of your support that day. You were all exactly what I needed. :) ... And sleep... I needed sleep. :) 

On a side note, I am officially on the National Bone Marrow Donation Registry. Leukemia has affected a few too many people that I know (my grandpa, my best friends mom, my sister-in-laws nephew, and my great uncle) and I have been unable to help them so I have chosen to register and hopefully donate to help save someone else's loved one.

Overwhelmed...

Can I just say "wow"... This past week is one I will not soon forget.
I felt an unreal amount of emotion from anger, to overprotective, to complete devastation.
For those of you who know me well know that I DO NOT handle death well.
But for some reason this last week I have had some explainable strength.

Possibly because of my best friend in the entire world. We have been together since day one and I plan on being there til the end. Seeing her heart breaking and her world falling to pieces turned me into the overprotective big sister. I would have done will do anything for her. If I could have fixed this I would have, if I could have taken her pain, if I could have stopped this all from ever happening, I would.
And it kills me that I can't.

It has never occurred to me that anyone from this family that has ALWAYS been there for me would no longer be there. That I would have to stand by and watch these people that I love and have always considered family suffer the way that they have.

I have never felt so helpless.

I could not stop my best friend from collapsing into tears right in front me, I couldn't stop her brother from falling apart, or her dad from loosing the love of his life.

All I could do is hold them as they cried, sit with them in silence, and hold Karen's hand as they slept.

I will never feel that I did enough.

I feel unbelievably blessed to have grown up with two moms. Karen will forever be in my heart.
I promised her that I would Always be there for Mackenzie. And I will be.

We also found out that my grandpa Fowlks has Acute Myeloid Leukemia , which is exactly what Karen had.
Imagine my reaction when my dad told me.
He started Chemo yesterday, a very mild form that will not be able to cure him but will hopefully give us more time with him.
I love my grandpa. I have so many memories, very few with out him. I grew up next door to him and I am so lucky that I have been able to spend so much time with him.
I will be spending as much time as possible with my grandpa and grandma over the next little while. I told him the other day that his life from now on is going to include me and my camera so he had better be prepared. I'm his new personal paparazzi! :) As if I wasn't already. I think he has gotten used to my picture obsession over the past few years. haha. :)


We also blessed Eve this week and I will be posting pictures of that later on. as of right now I need to try to sleep. I haven't slept more then a hour (if i'm lucky) at a time in the past 3 weeks.
I am my mothers child. Stress ruins my sleep and my appetite. :)