Frozen moments

I don't know about you, but I have about a million pictures between my phone, camera, and computer that I've never shared. 

I capture moments and keep them to myself. 

I am a picture hoarder. 

There I said it. 

First step right?!  ;) 

I am constantly snapping picture of my kids and my (unknowing) husband. 

My phone is overloaded and my dslr's two memory cards... Let's not even go there... 

But lately I feel like my brain is mush. If I don't capture a moment I want to remember forever... I'll forget it in five minutes. 

Mom brain. 

So I've decided in an effort to use (share) all these frozen memories I'm going to start posting them here.  

A few at a time. 

 

Evelynne singing "happy! Happy! Happy!" In the tub. 

 Chloie chasing Evelynne in the backyard "I'm gonna get you, baby!"

Eve loves watching the sunrise snuggled up on mommy's bed. (She is an early riser...) 

Miss Chloie is 3 1/2 and still light enough to toss in the air. Little miss skinny mini.

Chloie watching the sunset through the front door. Love her piggies! :)

My little magnet. 

 Watching a rain storm. Eve kept saying "wow, mom!" 

Aparently we spend a lot of time looking through the front door... But seriously, anytime we get to spend a day or even a half day with daddy the girls are so excited. Ben works a LOT so we soak up every minute we can get and I've got Two little daddy's girls. :) 

That's all for now. 

Thanks for stopping by! 

Check ups!

We had Evelynne's 18 month appointment this week and it was quite the event... 

Now, I'm used to a child who LOVES her doctor. Chloie and Dr Jopling have nice chats and are best buds at her checks up. She cried very little getting her immunizations and was immediately cheered up when they gave her a sticker. 

Evelynne on the other hand HATES going to the doctor. 

The minute we walk into the office she gets clingy.

She cried in the waiting room. 

She cried in the hallway. 

She screamed and clawed my arms when they tried to weigh her.

Then the doctor tried to listen to her heart... 

World ended. 

Then he tried to look in her ears...

Pure torture! 

Then came the vaccinations... 

I've never heard her scream like that. (Mind you this is not the first time she's had her immunizations) 

Then they tried to put bandaids on her owies... 

"No!!!!!!!! Mine ow!!! No!!!!" 

How dare they touch her owie! 

 Then the doctor tried to talk to me about her growth... 

"Nooooo!!! Mine mommy!!! Shhhhhh! Shhhh!!!!" 

So we gave up on talking and he just handed me the charts and said she was healthy. 

Then be said "must have gotten the drama queen gene from her dad's side of the family?"  And we laughed about how much she is my daughter. 

(He was my pediatrician growing up and saw me act pretty much the same way)

After the tragic event I took the girls to get some doughnuts and we sat on the grass outside the little bakery (Daylight Doughnuts) and enjoyed the quite time and our sprinkled doughnuts. 

So called "burdens"

"I don't know how you do it. If my husband left me alone with two kids as much as yours' does I would complain non-stop" 

"I could not handle having two kids so close and watch other people's kids! what a burden for you to bear." 

"You have the patience of a saint! I have never once heard you complain about everything you have to do." 

These are just a few of things I have heard from people over the past year. 

It always catches me off guard when people say these sorts of things. 

For one I am VERY accustomed to being alone with my kids. My husband works hard to provide for us which means I am alone a lot. Sure, it gets hard at times but complaining about it wouldn't do me any good. 

Two, I love LOVE having my kids close together, they are the best of friends already and I don't know any different. And yeah watching other peoples children can be challenging... But I don't see it as a "burden" but rather a blessing. I GET to  spend loads of time with my sweet niece, Gwen, and my ninja turtle obsessed nephew, Oliver. I GET to watch them play with my kids, learn how to interact with eachother, and I get to teach them little things. Each one of the littles running (or hopping in Gwenny case :) ) brings something new to our home, each one has taught me something, and each one has given me so much more then I could have ever imagined. So much more then I could ever give back.

Three- I do not have the patience of any saint. Patience is something I have to work on everyday. I try. I do have my days where my back aches from picking up and putting down kids, my head pounds from all the screaming and noise making, and there are days I think if one more child yells at me for something I might just cry. But once again.. Complaining about it won't fix it. Figuring out why they scream, knowing what they want before they yell for it, and lifting with my legs are things I can do to. ;) Complaining seems pointless. (And if I were to complain I would not complain to random people, just sayin' ;) )

One thing that was talked about at my church today was burdens. How each of us has a load to bear, and not all loads are negative. 

There are burdens and blessings. And I believe that the load I bear is more blessings then burdens. 

I get so much more then I give. 

I would not trade what others see as "my burdens" for anything. 

 

Little voices

There are things we say on a daily basis. 

"Good morning" "hello""goodbye""I love you"...

But when our kids say those same little things in their own little ways in their sweet little voices... You melt. 

Every morning I hear two things, with out fail. 

1- Chloie "THE SKIES AWAKE!!!!" 

2- Evelynne "Hi mom!!! Mom!! Hi!!!" 

We also hear a lot of "NO"'s from Evelynne. 

And at least one "I wake up the baby!!" From Chloie. 

I have two girls who rarely ever stop talking. 

My favorite things to hear from them are:

"Your my most bestest friend, honey" & "You're home!!! I missed you so much!" (To pretty much anyone who comes through the door)

-chloie 

And "I you!" (I love you) & "gickle gickle gickle!" (Tickle tickle tickle) 

-Evelynne 

And we have one song being sung on repeat pretty much everyday.... Bet ya can't guess which song! 

(Let it go -frozen)

 

Now the reason I am talking about things I love hearing my kids say is because today was a rough day. 

Lots of crying, screaming, ornery kiddos... 

But I just put Eve down for bed and she said "night-night ma" for the first time and then chloie curled up in my lap and whispered "I love you, mommy" 

And all the stress of the day just slipped away.

Two very simple things were said and some how they fixed everything. 

Isn't amazing how things that seem so ordinary when you say them can somehow seem so extraordinary when your child says them?? 

❤️ 

Blessed.

So, as most of you know, I have a couple extra kiddos floating around my house pretty much every day.

Oliver and Gwenny have definitely changed my life (for the better). :)

It has been so fun this past year watching Oliver, he is such a goofy little guy. 

He and Eve are usually the best of friends, giving hugs and kisses, and holding hands. They make my heart happy. But while watching ninja turtles Chloie becomes his best bud. They do ninja moves all over and giggle. It's pretty fun to watch.  

I've been watching Gwenny since her mommy started going back to school in January (Go Jen!) and I will have her through the summer semester and for the foreseeable future (possibly until her mom is finished with her schooling). Gwen and Chloie are pretty much inseparable when she is here. Chloie becomes Gwennys "keeper", she helps me calm her down when she's upset, shares her toys, kisses any owies, helps me feed her, helps me get her on the bus for school... Etc. It's been fun to see them bond and to see how much Gwen trusts her (she does not feel the same way with Eve and Oliver, they are a little more unpredictable :) )

 Having two additional littles to care for has not been easy BUT I wouldn't trade them for anything! 

I love seeing all their different personalities: 

Chloie is definitely the ring leader, she is talkative, stubborn, creative, and caring. And, oh man, can she sing! Loudly... For hours.. Haha 

Gwen is a quiet people watcher, though that pointer finger of hers can be awful demanding. (she is non-verbal) but she can be very vocal when she is happy (or upset). And although she almost seems afraid of Eve and Oliver she is so very gentle when they are close to her. 

Oliver is definitely all boy (which is a whole new world for this "girl mom") he Loves Ninja Turtles, in fact "turtles" is pretty much all he says all day. His laugh is contagious. And his tender heart just melts me, He loves to be snuggled when the girls are being "mean" (not sharing or to busy singing to play). And the fact that he hates to be messy/dirty is a breath of fresh air!  :) 

Evelynne is my quiet sneaker. Into everything, climbs anything, and does it all with a smile that could kill! She really could get away with murder with a smile like that. She is also very sweet, kisses for everyone! And the best napper! 

 

I will admit, not everyday is all sunshine and roses,  tantrums and rough days are to be expected with two- three year olds and two- one year olds. But the good days by far out weigh the "bad". 

I am so blessed to be able to be home with my littles and to be able to help with my niece and nephew. 

While somedays I wish I was able to run in and out of the grocery store in five minutes without a cart full of kids saying "hi" to everyone or some one saying "looks like you've got your hands full!"

 On the days where I "get" to leave the house alone I feel... Empty. Like there should be a child on each hip and at least one walking beside me and BOY am I socially awkward when there isn't a three year old talking for me... ;)

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love the life I've been given. 

I am happy. :)

A year ago today

-Sitting in a hospital 

holding the hand of a woman I'd know my entire life. 

Listening to monitors.

Starring at numbers.

Wish and hoping. 

Hugging my mother. 

Sitting with my best friends brother and 

Talking with his wife.

Trying my best to keep it together 

to stand by my friends side,

Because 

Through thick and through thin 

we've always been 

3nights we sat, my mother and I 

Begging her to squeeze our hands 

or bat an eye

Then a phone call from dad set my heart on fire 

My grandpa was sick

His situation seemed dire 

Not wanting him to miss the blessing of my child 

I threw together a simple celebration 

Not two hours before 

I revived a message

"Karen passed away peacefully, surrounded by family" 

I chose not to feel it

No tears would be shed, 

Until after my husband laid his hands on Eve's head 

Quietly I sat 

Hearing the sweet words

A blessing of a life just beginning 

Sitting next to a man whose life would, all too soon, be ending 

Sleep deprived and overwhelmed 

I sat numbly and watched 

Suddenly I felt a sweet presence 

A peaceful happiness 

as I looked at my child 

And I'm sure she was there 

From heaven she came

To be part of this moment 

To ease some of my pain

So much happened in so little of time

Too much to process

Too much to feel 

Holding it back was my way to deal

A whole year later 

And I'm still not sure it was real... -

(Both of these pictures were taken a year ago today)

How lucky am I to have known such an amazing woman? To have her daughter as one of my closest friends? 

I do not think I would be who I am today if I hadn't known the Wilson family. 

Karen was beautiful, inside and out. 

Plus, she raised my best friend. 

Who I honestly could not live without. 

I cannot put into words all of the memories I cherish of Karen. 

I'll remember her always and love her forever. 

❤️

Sleep.

It's 11pm and I'm lying on my couch with chloie asleep on my legs and Evelynne asleep on my lap. 

Today was nothing short of crazy. 

Eve was up til midnight last night and only took a short nap today. Chloie, on the other hand, fell asleep early and woke up early. Then took 2 naps. (Never happens)

My kids are rarely on the same schedule. 

So I am usually running on little to no sleep. 

I am worn out from the tantrums. 

I am worn out from making 50different breakfasts, snacks, lunches, and dinners, desperately trying to getmy two incredibly picky eaters to eat something. ANYTHING! 

I am exhausted from picking up and putting down kids. 

I am beat from chasing around a child who stole my lipstick. 

I am stressed from trying to catch eve as she tries to jump off or the kitchen table for the tenth time. 

These two seemingly innocent sleepers are chaos causers. 

They keep me on my toes. 

They keep me in shape. 

They keep me young and age me at the same time. 

But when I finally get both of them to sleep, I find myself wishing they were awake.

To hear chloie say "I love you, honey" one more time today. 

To see Evelynne's smile again as she dozes off. 

I can't wait for bed time most days. 

But as soon as it comes I can't wait for the morning. 

For chloie to run into my room and jump on my bed yelling "the skies awake! The skies awake! Mom! See the sun ate the stars!" 

Or For Evelynne to be wrapped around my leg as I make breakfast. 

And as worn out as I am I cannot, for the life of me, fall asleep.

My kids are holding still. They are snuggled up in my lap snoring.

And I love it. 

I don't want to sleep now, I'm enjoying the quiet perfection I'm witnessing. 

Sleep is overrated.